As someone who’s no stranger to academic rigor, I’m used to struggling in school and I’m pretty good at trusting the process and rolling with the punches. Within reason. Some of the experiences I’ve had at Xavier in regards to the administration, housing, and fiscal services/financial aid have been so unbelievably frustrating and hopeless that I’ve genuinely considered dropping out of college altogether multiple times to get away from the stress and anxiety of it all.

As a Xavierite, the administration is so obviously unorganized that it’s not even funny. From the lack of manpower to the overall lack of concern for the students, the bureaucratic nature of it is so evident, even to the most casual of observers. When you call any department, there’s only a 30% chance anyone will pick up the phone and when they do, they usually have terrible attitudes (specifically in fiscal and housing); they’re super rude, and they rush you only to get stuff wrong because they weren’t listening, make you feel stupid, sometimes flat out refuse to answer your question and are content with tossing you back and forth different departments in a twisted game of telephone tag for hours until they eventually just end the call and don’t follow up. They don’t email or call back until you’ve filled up their voicemail boxes, it’s absurd. Why is it so hard to get people to do the jobs that we PAY THEM to do? It’s very obvious most of them are only here for the check.

The technology here is god-awful for an institution that requires each individual student to pay $800 a year in technology fees. The wifi never works to the point where I use my own resources out-of-pocket for something that I’m already paying for. Not only that, but as a residential student, I’m also required to pay for my wifi there as well which is $60/month; the school is giving one singular internet company a monopoly on the complex which causes regular outages in the area so I don’t have wifi at my apartment OR at school which puts me nauseatingly behind in my schoolwork. I ended up having to call my mom, bawling my eyes out over the stress and she had to purchase a personal mobile hotspot to make up for Xavier dropping the ball. So I ask, how much money do they need to make the wifi work and why isn’t $120/month AND $800/year enough? Follow-up question: how am I supposed to pass my classes if I can’t even access them ON CAMPUS?

My own major department is so woefully understaffed and unorganized, I almost feel bad including them but I’m sorry, changing class times without telling anyone a WEEK before classes start is insane. Plus they straight up don’t offer classes that are required for the major (and prerequisite classes too, not just random obscure electives) so I’m just supposed to wait for the next year and pray that maybe they’ll be able to let me work for my degree hopefully? It begs the question why even offer the degree plan if you can’t even fulfil the requirements??

Where are the priorities??

Not with the students.

Don’t get me STARTED on the accommodations. My Xavier-affiliated apartment had black mold in the cabinets, no chairs, and ants when I came in. Also, neither our keys nor the peephole were functional so we were just unsafe and insecure the entire year. Nobody could get back to me about anything. Never mind the fact that we drop $10k a year on housing.

Xavier has shown such a blatant disregard for student mental health and safety that it’s almost unheard of— the covid restrictions are a literal joke when you require satellite testing, everyone be vaccinated, and masks everywhere but also blowing up bouncy castles in the university center lawn, throwing parties, requiring in-person instruction like a week after a superspreader event, and also planning for a fully-in-person homecoming, it sends a bit of a mixed message. They want us to be responsible but have 0 problems with maintaining or shouldering any responsibility themselves. They say that they understand that we’re all going through tough times but I don’t think they do. They refused to make anything easier on the students, even something as simple as giving people the option of making some classes pass/fail, but because they want to “preserve the academic rigor” (which is really code for 50+% of the professors being vague and mediocre) they don’t provide any concessions for students that have really been struggling; not financially, not academically, nothing. Plus, they’ve even been steadily raising tuition like we aren’t in the middle of a pandemic and a pre-depression, but as a Xavierite, we’re just supposed to suck it up with zero support. When they need their money, even if we’re a day late, enrollment is pulled out from under us like a cheap carpet but the institution is late all the time with everything and we’re just supposed to deal.

It makes me wonder which breed of jellyfish are in there making the final decisions on stuff like this. I would like to think it was stupidity, but even a monkey could make the right decisions some of the time. After a certain point, it just feels malicious; it’s sad but I genuinely feel like the institution is actively trying to sabotage my education in any way they see fit. And that’s the really sad thing— I’m a really good student, always have been. I have a 3.7 GPA with an associate’s degree already under my belt, taking 17-21 hours regularly, consistently on the Dean’s List, and I’m genuinely terrified that I won’t be able to graduate in 4 years. I get panic attacks twice a week because I’m so anxious about not being able to graduate because of things completely out of my control.

THAT’S ABSURD.

I used to be proud to be a Xavierite too. But that’s the gag— the general incompetence, disorganization, and apathy aren’t a new occurrence. When I first applied, I read through student reviews of the school on another site and they weren’t very flattering to say the least. But me, being the optimist and being inspired to go to the supposed third-best HBCU in the nation, I ignored them and applied anyway and I regret it. As of 2018, the graduation rate at Xavier is 40%. That’s astronomically low and that was recorded before COVID so I can only imagine how abhorrent it is now (and that’s probably why it’s not accessible). People talk bad about Xavier on professor rating sites and clown us on social media and I can’t even argue with them because they’re all RIGHT. Xavier relies too heavily on their old reputation but hear me when I say this: that reputation is running out and it’s running out fast. Maybe older generations have a favorable view of Xavier, but most young people do not. That much is obvious if you search “xula” on Twitter. It’s embarrassing to say that I go here.

Do I think anything will change? No. Do I expect it to? Also no. But, will my only form of revenge be when I graduate and never give Xavier another red cent? Yes. Like for real, go ahead and take me off that email list now. I don’t see the school staying in the top 3 next year, I don’t see Xavier getting any better either; they have proved that the thing they care about is the bottom dollar so they have no real incentive to change. The school can just keep short-changing and cheating us for as long as they can keep the doors open. I’ve already thrown away all my Xavier merch anyways.

But go ahead and spend up that $10 million donations from Google; I know that $20 million they got from Mackenzie Scott-Bezos is gone too and not a singular dime was seen by any of the students beyond that rinky-dink $250 hurricane relief grant. And don’t be surprised when the school can’t keep the doors open because people have PTSD just hearing the name.

TL;DR: Xavier is expensive, time-consuming, apathetic, and all-around a terrible investment and I regret taking the scholarship money that was offered to me; it seemed too good to be true and it was. It’s like they gave it to me because they knew they would be able to put enough obstacles in our collective way that even I couldn’t clear them all as a graduate from one of the top high schools in the country so they would be able to make all their money back guarantee. I mean, it’s a good business move so I can’t be that upset. But if you’re are gonna cheat us, at least do us the courtesy of cheating with your whole chest and please stop giving these freshmen hope. It’s nauseating.

And lastly, don’t believe anything Xavier says about being an institution remotely interested in creating a just and humane society— if they were really that interested, they’d start in their own community.